My blog and my story have been picked up by a few people in recent days and, as a result, I am getting a lot more comments and emails than normal. Thank you ... all of you ... both Christian and non-Christian. I do appreciate it.
Having said that, I would humbly ask that we be careful how we judge my wife. There are a few things that I would ask us all to understand:
1) Despite all that I have revealed in this blog, I cannot share all the events about this case. There are some things that I just cannot talk about legally. This means that this blog does not and cannot contain all the information needed for anyone to really judge either side of this. Yes! I maintain my innocence! However, the readers of this blog cannot have all the facts.
2) The accusation did not originate with my wife. Therefore I don't believe that she is "lying". I think that she is choosing to believe that I am guilty. The main reason for this is that she believes that, without Christ, a person has no moral under pinning and, as a result, any evil is possible without the Holy Spirit's indwelling. This accusation may have become an easy way to remove the "heathen" influence from the home (and that, in and of itself is wrong, in my opinion), but this does not mean that my wife is purposefully lying.
3) Just as it is not right that so many have judged me by what others are saying about me without being willing to hear my side of the story, it is equally wrong (in my opinion) to judge in my favor without hearing the other side of the story. I certainly maintain that I am innocent. However, I respect the fact that there are two sides to the story and this blog only represents my side.
I certainly would not tell any of you to not share your thoughts, ideas and opinions about all of this, but I would ask for caution. If I am asking people to treat me fairly, then I would want them to treat my wife fairly as well. I had determined a long time ago not be angry at how I am being treated. I went through anger while in jail and, for the most part, I am over it.
For any questions that go beyond what I can reveal on this blog, please use my email address. It is on the left side. I will do my best to answer each and every email I get.
Thank you.
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10 comments:
It's because of posts like this that I am leaning more towards your side of the story, but of course, even with the results of the court case, only you and your accuser will know what really happened.
I hope that the truth will prevail.
I also notice that many of those attacking you are anonymous, how brave of them. ;-)
Considering where you live, her response can and will be expected. However, it does not make her reaction acceptable. Your wife is not a bad person, just unopen to change and unable to cope. If she truly loves you and your family, I'm sure she will try her best to understand your side of things. Loving God does not equal to not loving you.
You may be too good for your own good, friend. I think you could afford some vehemence in your own defence and statement of position.
One thing you'll learn as you continue your journey into free thought is that not all ideas are created equal. You appear to be suffering from an overabundance of ideological equivalence; the accusations against you appear abjectly false, and a blatant attempt to smear your character and ruin you for what you believe. These are not ideas or actions worthy of justification or consideration. Your wife, in embracing and pursuing them uncritically may not believe herself to be lying or immoral, but this does not make her right, or give her evidently fallacious position any validity.
You are in a position to speak strongly, and the dire nature of your situation would seem to mandate it. The stoicism and forgiveness you've learned as a christian are noble, but could very well work against you when malicious interests are aligned in opposition.
I hope you encounter a rational judge, and that the lack of evidence on the part of the prosecution will exonerate you. But I don't think you can afford to speak softly or reservedly of your innocence.
I wish you the best of luck.
I find it fascinating you display more compassion and understanding than most Christians ever would. :)
Hopefully the new year brings you better luck and a good life!
It's really sad to hear what has happened. You have friends in the rational community though. I cannot imagine anyone being so cruel to someone who is simply open-minded and seeking the truth.
Freethoughtpedia.com
StridentLobster said it best - your peaceful demeanor is very virtuous, but I think you can use a bit of ardor in defending yourself.
Like some others, I found this through Reddit. Unlike some others, I can't judge. I don't know if any of this is true or not. But I do know that the story has made me feel compassion. Even if it were a complete work of fiction, it would not negate the positive. You have made me think about my family and my beliefs and my community.
I sincerely hope your story has a happy ending. Whether it does or not, telling it has made a difference.
You're not accusing anyone else. Please stay online and let us know how you are doing. You can write about your reactions, bewilderment, and lack of blaming others. Your wife and perhaps your children will see it and remember what a good person you are. Maybe one day you can tell your wife and children that people use their concept of God to reinforce our natural morality, not to impose something wholly unnatural.
OK, if someone would believe that of me, even temporarily, I'm not sure I'd want to be married to them, but then again I guess nobody has updated her bible from the Good Samaritan to the Good Communist or the Good Atheist. I'll guess she feels like the floor has dropped out from under her, and has inadvertently believed someone's religious hate-speech and returned the favour with interest. Marriages can be repaired if both parties will work at it. But if she insists that you believe in Santa Clause to please her, it might be impossible to regain that innocence. And it's not worth it to lie.
Before insulin, diabetes was a cruel death sentence. You could keep your child alive for a couple of years by semi-starving them, but eventually they'd die. How hard do you think the parents of those children prayed? That's all the experiment we need.
By the way, do not engage in long discussions with the police. They have no obligation to tell anyone if you make a convincing show of innocence or even to present evidence that favors you (but get your defence to ask for it), but if they get you to stumble over your story even once they can use it against you. That's how false confessions get started. Stick to your guns. You didn't do it, you have said so, you're furious anyone would think so, and there's no reason to repeat yourself. Perhaps explain that if they pressure anyone to change their story or invent details, you will sue the hind legs off them. If abuse has occurred, railroading you because you quit your church means they are letting the real criminal go free to molest again. Then clam up.
Best of luck! I hope the case gets drop-kicked out of court. Then go get the record expunged. Do see your children if possible -- keep asking for those supervised visits and tell them that you love them and miss them. Don't let anyone make it so inconvenient that you give up.
It took years before the Other Grandparents stopped trying to hinder me and my son from visiting his daughter, including false accusations of abuse against both of us and his girlfriend. It's worth it but if you do get unsupervised visits keep a log. And take someone with you for pickups and drop-offs to be your witness to what happens.
Credulity and irrationality are premeditated crimes. What your wife is doing places her beyond the point where there is a meaningful distinction between ignorance/what-have-you and malice.
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