Today was a wonderful day (and, after all that I have been going through, I needed it)! I was able to see two of my children today ... my two boys! Because of the protective order my wife placed against me, I am not allowed to have any form of communication with my wife or any of my four children. If I were to be walking down the street and happen to see my family walking my way, I am instructed to turn around and get away as fast as I can! However, Social Services has arranged for me to have supervised visits.
I was arrested on September 8th and so it has been nearly three months since I have been able to see my children or hear their voices. When I was in jail I would dream of them almost every night. And, to be frank, as I was anticipating seeing them again I was quite scared! I did not know what to expect. Would they accept me? Would they shy away from me? How would they react to their father?
I showed up at the Social Services office about a half an hour early. To my surprise, my wife and two boys were already in the waiting room. When my youngest son saw me he began to run to me, arms held wide open for a hug! What a joy! But there was a problem! Without the Social Services case worker present, I was still ruled by the protective order! I put forth my hand, palm forward and said, "I'm sorry son, but I cannot talk to you yet." He seemed to understand and went back to his mother. I retreated to the hall and waited for the case worker. After three months of not seeing my children, the first words out of my mouth had to be, "I cannot talk to you." Ugh!
Soon the case worker came and I was ushered, with the boys, into a room where we could be "alone" while under surveillance. We hugged and cried and talked about a range of subjects including cars (my oldest is 14 and what teenage boy does not like cars?), school, friends and things like that. We had a grand time. When the case worker returned to tell us our time was done, my boys begged her to schedule another meeting! I was overjoyed! But then we had to part.
I wept walking down the hall and down the stairs. I gathered myself together as best I could and made it to my car. Then I wept most of the way home. No father should have to be separated from his children. Not like this. The joy of seeing them, of hugging them, of hearing their voices ... it was without comparison! But so was the sorrow at our departure.
Even so, the case worker says we can meet again next week! I look forward to it!
12 comments:
I'm so glad you got to see your boys. The circumstances make me feel just sick for you, but it's wonderful that you saw them.
Dan,
I am so glad that you got to see them, and that it went so well!
I hope these visits are able to continue frequently and that you are able to keep that connection with your children strong!
Dan,
So happy to hear that you were able to see at least two of your children. Hope you had a blessed time. :-) Still praying for you!
-Your Friend
Im so happy you got to see your boys.
Man, your story really touched me. I know it probably won't mean anything compared to what you've been going trough, but know that somewhere around the world, one brother sympathizes with you and hopes for the best.
- A Friend.
Tears in my eyes. Thankful you got to see them and they, you.
glad you got to see them dan...how did they act?
I only got to see my two boys. They hugged me and we all cried a bit. We had a great time talking about school and playing some games together. It was a time I will always treasure.
I get to see them again this Wednesday.
how did seeing your boys go yesterday?
It was very sad. I arrived at the social services building and only my youngest son was there to see me. I asked where his brother was and he said that he didn't want to come today. I tried to smile as best I could, played chess and talked with my youngest (whom I love dearly), but my heart was broken. This feels like a war of attrition. Now I am down to one child. Will there by anyone left the for the next one?
There may be a very good reason for him not being there. I hope to know more this afternoon. When I find out anything, I will write an article for the blog.
How sad!!! But at least you were able to spend time with your youngest!! I'm sure those children love their daddy very much, Dan. I'll be praying for you, and I hope that you find out a explanation of why your oldest wasn't there! God bless, and Merry Christmas! (Do you get to see your kids for Christmas?)
I'm curious - you said that your children have rebelled against you and your wife in the past, and the (excessive) restrictions you placed against them.
While I can't begin to understand the thought process that occurs to enable anyone to do as you've said (after all, both you and your wife presumably lived your lives and had contact with the outside world, and managed to "find god" or whatever on your own) I would imagine this rebelliousness is likely due to an inquisitive nature about the world outside of the bubble you placed around them.
I imagine that this could be helpful for you, as your wife has already clearly labelled you as being "different" and "outside", which is likely exactly what your children are inquisitive about.
Stand in strong, man, here I am sending you all my best wishes from the distant land of Ecuador, where I'm part of the 3% of noncatholic people, and part of the even smaller 2% of nonbelievers.
We're not praying for you, but rest assured we're wishing you a happy resolution of this conflict and for you to be as happy as you can be.
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