Love Your Enemies ...

I had heard from others that those that remain in the faith can be quite cruel toward those that have left. I had heard from those that experienced this that faith-filled people can try to destroy whatever good name you may have. However, despite being warned, I still thought better of those within the circles that I had once walked. I assumed (and, yes, I know that is a dangerous word) that these people were truly trying to follow the words of Christ and to live as he taught them and as he exampled for them. One such teaching of Christ, according to the New Testament is to love one's enemies (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27, 35). In fact, the words of Jesus command that his followers "do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which dispitefully use you and persecute you;" Christians who love only their own are likened to the publicans, who were very much hated in those days (Matthew 5:46).

Since I have de-converted there have been some who have treated me well, stating that they would pray for me and even asking if I needed anything. But these have been quite few and far between. I can count them on less than half of one hand. Others have accepted as fact that I am a child molester and have never even tried to contact me to see if I had anything to say about it. One site that I came across recently, belonging to a former member of Heritage Baptist Church, used the term "rape" in relation to me. To be fair to this individual, when I sent him an email about the inaccuracy of his statement, he changed it. Even so, why did he write it in the first place? I was never charged with rape at all. Why didn't this individual check with a legitimate source (myself or even the jail) before posting something like this?

But in recent days, things have taken a turn for the worse. On a particular forum that I frequent, a forum that is related to my job and a piece of software that I use for that job, an anonymous person started to post about the initial WDBJ7 news report, to call me a liar (claiming that I have been lying for 18 years now) and to try to bring me down as low as they could. One person, whom I have known for years on that forum, began to blast me after reading the news report from Channel 7 News (WDBJ7). Again, this person, who also claims to be a Christian, did not attempt to contact me to ask what this was all about. He just broke into a tirade against me and voiced his opinion about the ridiculousness of what I have posted here on this blog.

As one that had de-converted, I can see how Christians could feel threatened by me and might even consider me an enemy. But where in the Bible does it tell a Christian to try to destroy anyone's reputation? Since I have not been found guilty in a court of law (yet), are they not spreading gossip (another thing forbidden of Christians) by claiming as true what has not yet been proven? Where is the love that Jesus commands? How is it displayed by the hatred and vitriol that people like me experience when we make a decision to leave the faith?

I would ask those that consider themselves to be true Christians to ponder the following thought: by attempting to ruin a man's reputation, how does that make a de-converted person want to even consider Christianity as truth? By spewing hatred and accusations against someone, how does that make anyone believe that the words of Christ are true words? If those that claim that they are followers of Christ refuse to obey basic and clear commands written within their own holy book, how does that cause anyone outside of their faith to want to believe anything that they have to say about the Bible, Jesus or God?

Happy Thanksgiving!

For those of you in the United States, please have a happy and a safe Thanksgiving! Even if you are not a religious person, there are plenty of reasons to be thankful! Even in my situation, I have much to be thankful for!

Thank You!

I just wanted to take a moment to publicly thank each of you that have either linked to this blog or wrote an article on your own blog about me and my story! Thank you! I truly appreciate all that each of you have done!

Suffer the Little Children ...

Some people have asked me about my children. They wanted to know, in all that is going on, didn't the church or my wife think about the children before bringing this accusation against me. On the surface, it would be easy to think that the pastor and my wife are cold-hearted people that are simply out to get me and that my children are being sacrificed at the altar. But this is not the case ... not from their perspective. In fact, I have to be careful as well. In the process of telling my story, I could end up appearing to not care about my children as I write about my own personal situation. So, with that in mind, let's explore the mentality of some, like my wife, when it comes to their children.

I do believe that my wife had my children in mind the entire time that she was talking to the police and arranging to have me arrested. In order to understand this, we need to enter into her mind and the minds of others that are like her. My wife is a woman who loves the Lord Jesus Christ above anything and everything. I am not exaggerating this. Even being married to her I was always keenly aware that her love for me was second to her love for Jesus. Everything was to be done for his glory and for his honor. Her consistency in reading her Bible and praying daily was not out of some religious ritual, but out of an honest desire to spend time with the Lord. She is one that demonstrated, on many levels, that she loved the Lord with all her might, all of her strength and all of her mind. This is who my wife is.

When you factor this into the equation, what happened at my home was very easy to understand. She was married to a man that was preaching the Word of God. She had the hopes of returning to the land of Israel to carry on the work of the Lord in proclaiming the Gospel to the lost. She had the precious hope that her children would be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and that very little outside influences would come into our home in an attempt to steal away the souls of our precious children.

Outside influences were kept to a minimal. As the children began to play outside and make friends in the neighborhood, my wife would begin to restrict these friendships out of fear that our children would be attracted to the world. Slowly my children were reduced to having friends that were a part of our church. And because most of these people were scattered around the Roanoke region, my children rarely got to spend time with friends during the week. So getting together with friends was before and after the church service. This sounds strict (and it is), but the souls of children are precious, are they not?

According to the Bible, God will not tolerate sin in his presence. All men, according to the Scriptures, are sinners. Therefore, no man, woman or child can come into the presence of God and live. As a result, God's law demanded that all sinners be eternally separated from Him. People who remain in their sins when they die are sent to a place called Hell in order to keep sin from the presence of God. This punishment, according to the Bible, is eternal, having no hope of escape. However, according to the biblical text, God provided a means of escape in this life if we would simply accept the sacrifice of his son, Jesus, who, according to the Bible, died in our place, taking our punishment upon himself, so that we would not have to suffer the penalty of eternal condemnation.

If you believe that this is true, that there is no other way to escape an eternity of punishment in flames of fire than to accept Jesus and have faith in his finished work on the cross, then what would you do if your spouse suddenly becomes a heathen in the midst? What would you do if, for years, you have been trying to keep the world away from your kids and now the world is in the midst of your very own home? When I de-converted I became, in the eyes of my wife, a pagan, a heathen and an anit-Christ ("anti" means "opposed to"). What my wife had so desperately fought against was now, not only on the doorstep, but in her very home! The eternal destinies of her four precious children were at risk! Thieves had broken in unaware and were about to steal the souls of those that she had labored to bring forth into the world! What would you do (if you believed in Christ and his message of eternal salvation so strongly)?

So, I don't think my wife was intending to cause mental anguish to my children. I think she was trying to save their souls. I think she was trying to remove an element from the home (me!) that she considered dangerous, just as she had removed any TVs, video games or children's videos that she deemed wordly. If the item did not set out to glorify God, then it was not allowed in our home! I no longer glorified God. I was no longer welcome there.

Do I think this mentality is right? No! Of course not. But I do believe that my wife is behaving within her character ... within her belief system. I cannot blame her for that. No, in relation to our children, I think she acted out of love ... as she understands love. However, her mind is so clouded by religion that I don't think she really understands honest to goodness love. If love is being willing to sacrifice those closest to you because they reject God, then how is this love? Does not the Bible even echo this:

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? - Matthew 5:46

And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. - Luke 6:33

In the News Again ...

WDBJ7, one of the local news stations in Roanoke, Virginia, aired a short piece of me this evening. The title of the story is:

News7 Exclusive: Former Vinton church leader says he's not a child molester

I am glad that they gave me an opportunity to declare my innocence and that the title reflects this as well. Here is a link to the story:

http://www.wdbj7.com/Global/story.asp?S=9381008

I just wish they would use some other picture of me.

Update: Maybe they read this blog! They updated the photos. Much nicer. Thank you WDBJ7!

Update: It appears that they have polished the video and re-uploaded it from what aired last night. In the process one line was dropped that was in the original report:

"Since our first story, many viewers have emailed or called us with a variety of concerns about the church."

The above line is still in the transcript on the same page, though.

Churches Gone Wild!

What is it about the Christian faith that makes it so easy to create a cult from it? Why is it that so many health and prosperity teachers arise from Christianity and not from the other religions out there? Do we hear of Muslim name it and claim it clerics? Do we see compounds of faithful zealots ready to drink poisoned Kool-Aid in the name of Brahma or Vishnu? While I am sure there are people who take advantage of other religions to exploit them, I am still interested in why this happens so frequently within the realm of Christianity.

At this point, I am certain that some Christians would claim that this is because the devil, God's ancient enemy, is doing his best to discredit the true church of Jesus Christ by bringing about all of these atrocities. These kinds of people would use all of this to try and establish Christianity as the one true religion. After all, which other religion has this going on? Obviously it is an attack against the truth! I know that arguments like this are used because I had used them myself.

Recently a news report was released about a church in Virginia called Calvary Temple which is exhibiting cult-like tendencies. According to the investigation, the pastor of that church, Star Scott, "urged some church members to divorce spouses and shun children who resisted the pastor's teachings." Scott also described those that left the church as "depraved," and Calvary's practice is to cut them off."

Click here to read the entire article.

While different churches with cult-like behavior may differ in their core teachings (doctrine), they all tend to exhibit one thing in common: they ostracize those that would dare to leave them and, in the process of doing so, try to paint those that have left in as bad a light as they can. They may call them apostates, reprobates, deluded, anti-Christs and a whole bunch of other names that are intended to destroy the reputation of those that have left while at the same time bringing fear to any that remain.

Whether one believes the Bible to be true or not, it is obvious to most people that churches that behave like this are clearly violating clear biblical teachings. While the Bible certainly does give instruction about separating from apostates, it never tells its followers to speak badly of them. Its New Testament leaders are never instructed to lord it over the faithful and their actions are to be selfless. It is amazing to me how many churches claim to follow the teachings of Christ and yet follow anything but what is written in red.

Can't Divorce? Brainwash the Kids!

Marriage can be a wonderful institution where two people devote themselves one to the other. However, when marriages go bad things can get out of hand and many can get hurt in the process of a separation or divorce. In some Christian circles the wrong that is done can be greatly amplified because some hold to a biblical teaching that divorce is not permitted. If this was your belief and you suddenly found that your spouse was not who or what you thought he or she was, what would you do to protect yourself and those around you?

As my wife and I studied and ministered over the years, the topic of divorce, marriage and remarriage was something that would come up time and again. Our own personal study of the Bible, as well as that of those within likeminded circles, led us to believe that, not only was god opposed to divorce, but that the Bible forbids it for the believer. As a result, when I de-converted, one thing that I was certain of was that my wife would not seek to divorce me ... at least not without having to drastically change her system of belief. What I did not anticipate is her fight or flight behavior toward my decision.

The very next day after my de-conversion my wife held a Bible study with the children in the basement of our house. It appears she chose the basement , which was unfurnished, in order to keep me from overhearing what she was teaching the family. Later that day, one of the children came to me and I politely asked what the study was about. The child calmly replied, "Mom was teaching that you are an anti-Christ and under a delusion."

It seems obvious to me, in defense of my wife, that she now regarded me as the enemy within the gates. If you believed that the eternal destiny of every person depended on a decision they made to accept Christ as their savior, then what would you do if your precious children could now be influenced by someone living in the same household that did not believe that that was true? I was now that influence and she obviously believed she needed to guard her children against their own father. The best way to do this was to begin to turn them against me. This is often known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is most often seen in those going through a divorce where one parent wants to ensure that they get custody of the children. However, in my case, my wife did not believe in divorce. So she had to find another way of getting custody or, better yet, guardianship of the children. She began to accomplish this by attempting to turn my children against me and then, the coup de grace, getting me accused of molestation. This one accusation could force the hand of the local government, particularly Social Services (DSS). Even if I am found not guilty, DSS could still keep me from living in the same home as my children, having only the right to supervised visitation. By this accusation, my wife had found the Holy Grail to removing the enemy within the gates while not having to divorce me. She found a way to keep the children from coming under the influence of their heathen father.

Here are a few links on PAS:

http://www.paskids.com/
http://www.fact.on.ca/Info/pas/walsh99.htm

Spiritual Abuse

In this country we have physical abuse, mental abuse, drug abuse and now we have spiritual abuse. This is just another way of talking about a church whose leadership is on the verge of becoming cult-like. This phenomenon is so wide-spread that articles are beginning to pop up here and there within Christian circles in order to help unsuspecting people evaluate their leaders and their churches.

According to some articles on spiritual abuse the leaders involved are often very charismatic and their churches are filled with dedicated and enthusiastic members. Often the people attending are very sincere in their desire to serve god and to want to live their lives according to biblical teachings. However, it is often possible for abusive leaders to take advantage of the sincerity of their people, using the Bible as a tool to push people toward a desired end. As time progresses, it is no longer even the Bible that is being followed, but the traditions of the sect and the wishes of their leaders.

I had experienced this type of mentality at Heritage Baptist Church. It was often difficult for families to leave our congregation. The pastor would attempt to schedule a meeting with the head of the family that left in order to talk about why they had moved on. During the meeting the pastor would sit and quietly listen to the reasons given and then the interrogation would begin.

The pastor had a philosophy. He believed that people would begin to become disquieted because of some false perception that they had developed. He called it an imagination. He used Second Corinthians 10:5 as his basis:

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

According to the context of this passage, believers are not fighting against flesh, but against spiritual powers. The real battle, therefore, is in the realm of the spirit. Men, being vastly ignorant of the existence of this spiritual realm, can easily be influenced by the demons that dwell therein. As such, a person leaving our church was thought to be most likely under the influence of imaginations (false thoughts put there to cause them to do that which is against the clear teachings of the Bible). The pastor would do his best to tear down these imaginations in order help the person see that they did not have a biblical reason to leave the church and, thus, should return to the assembly.

A meeting like this would often stretch into an hour. The man being thus interviewed would become uncomfortable and eventually just want to stop talking. Whether the man's reasons to leave were valid or not, he would simply come to the point where he would just express his desire to leave, not caring if his reasons were valid or not. As a result of this behavior, rumors began to circulate that the pastor was once a naval interrogator, which we found humorous because the pastor had been in the Army, not the Navy. Secondly, people would leave the church and simply would not say anything. If the pastor showed up at their house to confront them about their choice to leave, they would simply say that they did not want to talk about it.

Recently I met a friend that had been a disciple of the pastor of Heritage Baptist Church. This was well before he went off and began his own congregation. This friend had eventually left the faith. That was over eight years ago. Even so, this friend still receives communication from the pastor from time to time, encouraging them to return to the faith that they had left. One thing is for certain, this man simply will not let go.

Spiritual abuse is happening in many churches throughout our country and across the world. Whatever your belief in god and the Bible, this sort of thing cannot continue to go on. Abuse, of any nature, is abhorrent. And this is especially so when a group of people have opened themselves up and devoted themselves to a cause, such as many Christian people do.

Reading My Story

Due to the nature of a BLOG, the newest post shows up first, as it should. Because I broke the posting of my story into parts, the first part shows up last. There are links to the left and I would recommend reading in this order:

Getting the Story Out

Don't Ever Stop Thinking!

The Beginning of My Story

The Turning Point ...

And Now, the Rest of the Story ...

Making the News

Making the news is not always a good thing. Despite my incarceration having occurred on September the 8th, a news report about it did not come out until November 12th. Another man from the church I used to attend, Dean Stone, had turned himself into police and confessed to some 24 counts various sexual acts with a minor. Because we had both been a part of the same church, the news decided to report on me as well.

My charge was touching a child in the area of her chest (one count). Mr. Stone's charge was 24 counts and much worse. However, the news report seems to want to lump me in with him. When I first found out about this, I was crushed. I was afraid to come out of the hotel room where I am now living.

Here is the link to the report:

Two members of a Vinton church charged with molesting children

I post this here because I have nothing to hide. I know that I did not do this crime and that I am being accused thusly because I left the faith. What would you do if you woke up one morning to find a news report about you like the one above? How would you react? What would you feel if you were in the process of losing your family as a result of your decision to simply think for yourself and then to find your picture and accusation in the news and on the Internet?

And Now, the Rest of the Story ...

I was a man on a quest again. I had to learn the truth. There should be no fear in looking for answers. Even the Bible said ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32). Freedom was to be found in the truth and I desperately wanted freedom.

Over the past several years, as I served Christ, I felt more and more restricted. More and more bound. I found myself sleeping less and wanting to get out of what I was doing. I was not content, but felt more like a trapped animal. All this time I thought it was my own sinful nature rearing its head and I did not realize it was my mind calling out for me to be rational ... to think again. I suppressed my thoughts, but that only made things worse. But then I realized, I should not be afraid of the truth. If God is who He says He is, then I will discover this and the end result is that I will know Him better and be able to serve Him better. However, if He is not who He says He is, then I need to stop living a lie and move on with my life!

Many doubts began to arise in me and I wanted to seek the answers of other like-minded Baptists. I did not want to talk to the other pastor I served with. I wanted to do this anonymously. I found a Baptist forum on the Internet and posted a brief of my history and some of my doubts. What occurred surprised me. I was attacked! Some of the members simply assumed I was an atheist come to attempt to change their ways. I found no love and no help. Even so, I continued to try to ask questions about the things I was struggling with. Instead of rational answers, they simply threw more Bible verses at me, verses that did not answer the questions. Others simply told me that they would pray for me.

I decided to try something different. I found a web site for those that had left the faith (www.exchristian.net). I shared the same story and my questions. To my surprise, I found a loving group of people who were willing to help me find answers. I was amazed. I had been taught that atheists were cruel and amoral people that had no structure to guide them. I found that notion to be utterly false. As I began to research my doubts and look at the Bible with a new set eyes, I came to the conclusion that I had been living a lie and that I needed to leave the ministry. This was a life-changing decision, but I did not realize how it would change everything around me.

When I felt I could, I approached and told my wife of my new decision. The next day I told Pastor Barton and I stepped down from the ministry. I was a mix of emotions. On the one hand, I was free! I could think again. I could dream! It was the most liberating experience I can ever recall! On the other hand, I knew that my decision would break my wife's heart and would cause a multitude of problems for Heritage Baptist Church and Pastor Barton in particular. Even so, I could not live a lie. I had to live as I believed. When I believed in Christ, I lived accordingly. When I ceased believing in Christ, I lived accordingly.

My pastor's reaction surprised me. Instead of showing the Christian love that he had preached, he began to blame me for a multitude of problems that would occur as a result of my sudden decision. My wife's reaction was even more surprising. She took me aside to tell me that she was praying for me. She then said these words, "I am praying two things for you: that you will either get right with God or that He will take you out!"

I asked, "Are you praying for my death?"

She replied, "God's honor is worth more than anything."

I was shocked. Here was the woman I was married to for 15 years praying that God would kill me. I didn't know what to say. But things did not get better for me, but worse. The next day my oldest son came to  me and said, "Mom says you are an anti-Christ and under a delusion."

She had had a Bible study with the children and wanted to warn them about their father. During my coming out of the faith, I did not attempt to stop my wife from having Bible studies with the children and I did not try to keep them from going to church. But my wife was working hard to keep the children from me. She made it clear to me on several occasions that she did not want my children with me.

Then meetings began to be arranged with my wife and the pastor. I was never told what the phone calls were about. I did not ask. After all, I trusted my wife. I thought, despite her prayer for my death, that she loved me. I did not know what was being planned.

On Saturday evening, one of my children came to me and told me that their mother was trying to find a place for each of them to spend the night on Sunday. She said she just wanted them to be able to spend some time with some of their friends. On Sunday my two daughters decided that they would go, but my two sons stayed. On Monday morning, I woke up to find my wife gone. The house was pretty empty except for me and my sons. I went to work. At about 12:30 or so there was a knock on the door. I answered it to find two women detectives standing there asking for me to step outside. I did. They then showed me a warrant for my arrest! I was being charged with aggravated sexual assault on a child who was less than 13! I was dumbfounded as they hauled me off to jail.

I was placed in jail without bond. The next day the Pastor Barton came to visit me. He pointed a finger at me and said, "See where leaving God has gotten you!" I was crushed. I spent the next 50+ days in jail before I was finally allowed to get out on bond. I am now facing several months of court dates in an attempt to prove that I did not do that for which I am accused. My wife had placed a protective order against me and for the last two months I have not heard or seen my children. I am not permitted, by law, to see them.

Did I do the crime? No. I left the faith. I walked away from the ministry and made a decision to follow what I truly believe. Frankly, this crushed my wife. Her dreams of one day returning to Israel were dashed. Her dreams of being married to a dynamic preacher of God's word were over. And so she cast me away. The pastor of Heritage Baptist Church was mad as well. I believe he wanted to humble me in an attempt to bring me back to the faith and to the church. My wife had met with Pastor Barton and, via the phone, another minister. They recommended the solution to her: get the authorities involved. They did.

I have so far learned a lot from my experiences. The church's message of love only extends to those that embrace the church. Leave her and experience her wrath. I also learned that innocent until proven guilty is not a part of our country any longer. According to much of what I have read, people who are falsely accused of molesting or abusing a child are likely to be convicted of the crime, even if there is no evidence. According to one web site mothers who bring the accusation are much more likely to be believed even in the face of the evidence. All it takes is an unfounded accusation to potentially have your life taken away.

This is my story. I decided, of my own free will, to leave the faith. Those that were once my friends, and even my dearest love, chose to cast me to the wolves instead of continue to love me as I am. As a result, I have decided to take a stand for freedom! I have decided to speak out for our fundamental right to think for our own selves and to not be persecuted for thinking contrary to those that are around you. Our thoughts make up who we are. No one has the right to try to force us to think according to their ways. Our minds are wonderful things, capable of reason, discovery and creativity. No one should seek to destroy your life because you dare to think!

The Turning Point ...

After returning to the United States we began to attend Heritage Baptist Church in Vinton, Virginia. We thought we had found our dream church. The congregation was warm and loving. The church's methodology was to keep families together. In most churches we had experience with, children went to a children's Sunday School and then to Children's Church during the normal church service. At Heritage, there was no segregation of the family. Children stayed with their parents throughout the service, sitting by their families sides and listening to the same preaching and teaching as mommy and daddy. The children in this church environment seemed to act very mature. Their attention seemed to be on heavenly things. After some time of attending there I became a leader of teachers for a part of the service called Family School (or version of Sunday School, but for the entire family) and then later was accepted as a pastor of the church alongside the founding pastor, Bob Barton.

During this time I was a busy man. Finances were tight and besides the ministry, I was doing computer graphic work on the side to try to make ends meet. I was also teaching in other churches. A typical schedule for me would include helping on Sunday morning (if I was not scheduled to preach), teaching a class  such as a New Testament Survey on Monday nights, teaching classes on Wednesdays, such as Messianic Prophecies or a course I had developed called the Biblical Perspective of Israel. Besides ministry and work, we homeschooled our kids and I had a part in that as well. Needless to say, I was working most of my waking hours. Most nights I was not getting very much sleep.

As time went on and my schedule became more hectic, some of the thoughts I had tossed into the back of my head began to surface. Some of these thoughts contained doubts about what I was doing. Some were doubts about what I was teaching. In most cases I cast these thoughts aside. Christianity had taught me that thoughts like these were either a part of my own sinful nature or an attack from the devil, God's ancient enemy. How could I even trust my own thoughts? After all, the Bible was clear that the heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (according to Jeremiah 17:9)? It became even more imperative to pray and to give myself to Christ ... to die to self and to live unto God.

But my prayers seemed to go unheeded. In fact, I began to notice things that really caught my attention. My wife is an extremely religious woman. She believes the Bible to be literally true and would spend the first hour of her day reading the Scriptures. The next hour was devoted to prayer. A large portion of our prayer was for our children. Over the years we saw quite a rebellious spirit arise in each of our kids. We had desired that they would become godly offspring, willing to sacrifice their own lives for the cause of Christ. As they rebelled and seemed dead set on pursuing their own ways, we pleaded with them, we educated them in the ways of Christ, we chastened them when necessary and, above all things, we prayed for them. However, it seemed that prayer was not effective. No matter how many hours my godly wife prayed, no matter how many times either of us hit our knees, our children did not change. We began to doubt their salvation. I began to doubt God.

The Bible declares that God is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance (Second Peter 3:9). The Bible declares that God died for all (John 3:16). The Bible declares over and over again God's desire for a godly seed and for a holy people to follow him. The Bible told us that if we prayed anything in accordance with His will, he would grant it (First John 5:14, John 14:13; 15:16; 16:23). We prayed according to the clear will of God as revealed in the Scriptures and, despite that, things only grew worse in our family. My doubts began to raise their ugly heads again.

The Beginning of My Story

My story, like anyone else's, begins at my birth. I was born into a typical American family. My father was Jewish and my mother was not. Neither were religious. And, as a result, I was not raised within the confines of any particular religion. I grew up not giving it much thought. At the age of 21 I joined the Marine Corps and, in 1990, was sent to Saudi Arabia to help liberate Kuwait during Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm. It was during this time that I began to see some men turn to God.

After returning to the States in 1991, I began my own personal quest. I wanted to know if God was real. I first went to my battalion chaplain, who was a Roman Catholic. When he found out I was from Jewish decent (with a name like Silverman, who would have thought that?) he sent me to the base rabbi. However, this rabbi spoke of God like some impersonal force that was out there ... a force that could be tapped into for either good or bad. This did not sit well with me.

Along the way of my quest, I met some people that were a part of a Bible believing church. I was told that I needed to be born again.  Eventually, I came to the place where I said a sinner's prayer and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. From that point on my life was forever changed.

When I was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps, I relocated to Winston-Salem, North Carolina and began to attend Piedmont Bible College (now called Piedmont Baptist College). My goal was to train to be a pastor. During a mission's conference at the school I came believe that God was calling me to be a missionary, but I did not know where He wanted me to serve. It was at this time that I met the young woman that would soon become my wife. She told me about going to Israel as a missionary. I believed that I had my answer from God and began to focus on the land of Israel.

We married and began to pursue moving to Israel. It was not easy and many years went by. In the process, four wonderful children were born. We were determined to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Along the way, I had served as an interim pastor at one church and an elder at another. When the timing seemed right and the finances were there, we moved our family to Israel, where we stayed for the next four-and-a-half years of our lives.

In Israel we served at a local assembly in Jerusalem for three-and-a-half years and then moved to start a new work in the northern part of Israel above the Sea of Galilee. After a year there we saw the need to return to the USA in order to help take care of my wife's mother, who was aging and failing in health. I also wanted to continue my education and pursue my Masters degree.

I write all this so that you can know a bit about my life. During this phase, I was dedicated to serving the Lord. I had taught in many churches and have taught the Bible in places such as the United States, Israel and Mexico. It was the Lord and His Word, the Bible, that guided all that I did, all that I thought and by which we, as a family, tried to conform our lives. I was what some would call a Bible Thumper. I believed in the strict, literal interpretation of the Bible. To me, doctrine, hermeneutics and exegetical teaching were everything. But along the journey, there were some things that did not sit well with me. I logged them into the back of my mind and continued on my way until one day I was forced to confront them.

My story is about confronting those thoughts and what happened as a result.

Don't Ever Stop Thinking!

What is my story and why would anyone want to know it? I believe that my story, my life, is important, not because of who I am, but because of what has been going on in my life over the past several months. Imagine, if you will, finding your friends and family turning away from you because of a simple decision that was made. Imagine that this decision was not to commit some evil crime, but simply to start thinking for one's own self. Imagine that as you begin to explore your newfound freedom of thought, you find yourself being arrested. And why? Because those that had once loved you feared the decision you had made and wanted to take away your liberty.

My story is about freedom for all by advocating the right for each man and woman to think for their own selves. As I put together the pieces of my story please understand that what I will reveal here is true. I will not pull any punches as I tell it. I will try my best not to tear down others and so I may speak of a person by title and not by name. My goal is not to slander another individual. My agenda is simple: to get the truth out about my story. My hope is that like-minded people will see what is happening to me and others like me and will decide to no longer stand quietly by as our freedoms are being eroded away. What may surprise you about my story is that something like this is happening in 21st century America. What may also be surprising is that the yoke of oppression is being place upon people by those with a message of love, hope and freedom. Instead, they bring fear and bondage.

However, as human beings with great minds, we can think for our own selves. We can reason. We can explore. And we can come to conclusions. It is our minds, and what we do with them, that separate us from the rest of life on this planet. It is our ability to reason, to think and to be creative that makes us special. When someone attempts to take away our reason and to shunt our creativity, then we are diminished and brought closer to the animal and further from our potential as human beings. Don't let others think for you. As you read my story, I hope that you will draw courage to think for your own selves. Because, no matter how bad my story is or how terrible it could get, I would trade it for nothing. For, you see, my mind is now free. I can think again. And for that I am quite grateful.

Getting the Story Out

In recent days it has become imperative that I get out my story. Over the next days I will endeavor to do just that. My story is not important because I am important. Many who may visit this blog may not even know who I am. My story is important because of the circumstances that brought me to this point in my life. We live in a country where freedom is (or was) valued above all things. Our freedom, and the freedom of others, is an ideal that drives what we do as a nation. However, there are segments within our society that would desire to reduce or even eliminate our freedoms. What has shocked and surprised me is the people and organizations that are influential in attempting to do away with them.

I believe that by telling my story I may be able to help some people to see more clearly and, as a result, experience true freedom. The most important ... that which no man should have the right to take away from you ... is the freedom to think.

Please stay tuned for my story.